we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
