I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
