you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
