all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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