I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
