I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
