JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
