The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
