At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
