Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
