Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
