Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
