Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
