i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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