I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
