I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
