Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
