what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
