if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
