Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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