You just made me feel so damn special
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
