i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
This couple is walking their pig around campus
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
