so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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