Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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