I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
