will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
