I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
