How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
