TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
