girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
