i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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