i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
