rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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