have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
