The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
