so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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