I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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