i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Randomize
