Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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