when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
