how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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