I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
