If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
