could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
