I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
