Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
