summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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