Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
they call him Oral-B. enough said
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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