Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
