He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
