3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
