I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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