dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
