you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
