I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
