So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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