HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
