All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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