Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
