the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she pinky promised me she was 18
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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